Chasing Beautiful (Chasing Series #1) Page 10

  “Sienna, I know this is asking a lot of you, but I’m asking you a favor, for the first time, to please help my son get better. I’m not sure if this will help, but I feel that this all started with you. I have no doubt in my heart that you can help him get better— if he saw you again. He always listens to you. He loves you.”

  I was speechless, Kyle coming and living here? Helping him get better?

  That’s a big responsibility! How the heck will I handle that? I’m freaked out! So much for cleaning out my closet of emotional baggage!

  It was going to drive me mental.

  “Marie—how do I even begin? That was a lot to take in. Has Kyle agreed to this? Does he know? When is he coming anyway?”

  “He does and he’s arriving tomorrow afternoon,” she said calmly.

  I stared at her in shock, her statement sinking in.

  Holy fuck! Kyle will be here tomorrow? What the hell am I going to do? What about Blake? He’ll either go ballistic or understand. Who knows?

  This was all so frustrating. Marie is precious and all she’s only ever been kind to me since I moved in with the Brown’s.

  I couldn’t let her down without putting up an effort.

  “Alright, I can try. I’m not making promises, but I’ll try”

  “Oh! Sienna! Thank you! This means so much to Chris and me. Thank you! Kyle will be so happy!”

  I don’t know about making Kyle happy, but I’ll be a friend. He certainly needs to redirect his goals. Deep down, I know I can’t see someone so dear to me spiral out of control. It’s Kyle and he needs me, his best friend, not the lover. And I will be there for him.

  Marie stood up and took something out of her purse. She sat next to me and handed me a key.

  “Here is the apartment key. He’ll be staying in the company house in Hampstead. Here’s the address and my phone number, just in case you need to call me. Never hesitate to call me, dear. I’m here for you too. I’m just helping Kyle settle in the apartment and I will be leaving Sunday morning. I was hoping we could all grab lunch or dinner Saturday? Would that be okay?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine, Marie.” Maybe?

  “Thank you again, Sienna. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Have a good night, dear,” I nodded as she stood up to leave.

  I guided her to the door in a daze.

  After she left, I scurried to my room. My palm was holding Kyle’s apartment key, a business card with Marie’s information and the address of the apartment. I looked down and stared at it, blankly.

  Someone knocked and I looked up as the door slightly opened.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Luce! Kyle is going to live here for a while—in London. They sent him here. They think I can help him get better,” my voice small, but obviously freaked out.

  “Are you okay with that? Will you be able to help him without getting too attached?” her blue eyes studied me as she pulled back a strand of her blonde hair and tucked it behind her ear.

  “I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.”

  She nodded and sat next to me on the bed. “I sort of heard the conversation—I was in the kitchen—I didn’t mean to pry. But love, Kyle needs your help—you just have to be the bigger person and set aside any ill feelings for him. This could be tough—but you’re the bravest woman I know—whatever happens, never think that you don’t have anyone to speak to. I’m here for you, always.”

  I gave her a hug and thanked her for all her support. She got up to leave me with my daunting thoughts.

  It’ll be fine, convincing myself.

  I was beyond exhausted as I made my way to the kitchen to make a sandwich for dinner.

  I didn’t want to think anymore. I’d think about my problems tomorrow.

  When I went to bed, I slept like a log. I had no dreams, no interference.

  Eighteen

  I was contemplating what to wear for my date with Blake when I received a text message.

  Kyle Matthews: I’m here. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  I sighed.

  Way to dampen my mood for my date tonight, Kyle!

  My heart was beating erratically against my chest. I had never been in this position where I have to deal with an ex while starting to see someone new. This was all so new to me and it was driving me insane. Should I tell Blake? I really should. Sooner or later Lucy might mention it to both of the guys and I’d be grilled for information. I knew back in the day they were all curious about him and knowing how Lucy is, she’d probably invite him over for dinner to bond with the guys. I cringed at the thought. God, please, no. That would be an epic disaster. Blake and Kyle in the same room would be chaos.

  Browsing through my closet, I chose an embroidered black lace, short cocktail dress and paired that with my classic red, Prada gladiator platform heels. I artfully pinned my hair up and minimized my eye shadow. I was heavy on mascara and my engine-red rouge lipstick. Spritzing my favorite perfume, my phone buzzed as if on cue. It was Blake letting me know that he was downstairs waiting for me. Grabbing my purse, I headed downstairs to meet him.

  Coming out of the elevator, I could see Blake leaning lazily against his Aston Martin in a sharp, black suit against a white dress shirt. He looked dashing, sexy and still blindingly sinful. I felt lightheaded all of a sudden. I came out of the building as I heard him whistle loudly, clearly praising my look.

  Boy, how I’ve missed him. I had forgotten how he makes my heart pitter-patter like crazy. I was breathless. I went over to him as he pulled my hand and twirled me around with full appraisal.

  I smiled like an idiot. “Like it?”

  “Like it? I love it, poppet! You look ravishing! That dress certainly had you in mind.” Blake said against my lips before he kissed me tenderly. I simply melted. A good whiff of his scent sent my body into a lustful frenzy. Relax stupid body!

  “I’ve missed you, my sweet.”

  “Missed you too, Blake.” I gazed back, my emotions all over the place. I felt so much for him.

  Things I couldn’t explain. I swallowed hard.

  “Come on, I don’t want us to be late for our reservation.”

  Blake took me to OXO Tower Restaurant and Brasserie on South Bank that overlooked the River Thames. It was al fresco since it was still summer time and I relished the warm atmosphere around me. I had never been there before and the view was beautiful, even more so since I was sitting directly across from it.

  I grinned at him.

  He smiled back, eyes glittering in the night. “What do you want to drink? Champagne?”

  “I think I’ll have a watermelon martini tonight.”

  “I’ll order us a bottle of red as well.” Blake concluded as he browsed through the menu. He does love his red wines.

  Our waiter came and took our order. I let Blake decide what to order for my entrée and he happily obliged. With our drinks in hand, I sipped an ample amount of my martini. I closed my eyes and savored the taste. Hell, it was glorious. The decadent drink had just the right amount of vodka, zest and freshly squashed watermelon juice. Delicious!

  “Do you always close your eyes when you revel and relish something you like—food, alcohol, sex perhaps?” Blake murmured in a low husky voice.

  It was his fuck me voice. Gah! Why are my nipples hardening?

  My eyes quickly snapped open. Blake was relaxed against his chair with his hand on the stem of his wine glass, his dynamic eyes burning at me. Damn it, those eyes will be the death of me. I swear it!

  Does he know how fascinating he looks? How every single thing he does makes him ever more desirable? Does he notice the other women staring at him longingly? Because I fucking do and I don’t like it one bit—especially when we’re out on a date.

  Will I ever manage to get used to his dark beauty? I wish.

  Clearing my throat, I murmured, “Yes, savoring them makes you appreciate all the good things in life.” The coy smile I gave him made him smolder.

  “Yes, I definitely agre
e. How was your week? How was school? Any news?” Tricky, those questions, I thought as I weighed my options.

  I swallowed slowly. Any news? That seemed a little loaded. “School’s good. I like my classes this semester. News? Let see—I’ll be modeling for Chad. He’s going to have a show in a couple of months.”

  “Model? How?” He looked perplexed.

  Okay… I know I’m not model material like the ones he’s used to, but at least have the decency to look pleased.

  “His theme is Sensual Grunge. He’s hell-bent on having me be his model. Go ask him.”

  My voice small and a little hurt. His reaction hurt.

  “Sensual Grunge?” The blasted man reiterated.

  “Yeah, whatever.” I said, shrugging off his annoying attitude.

  Blake became quiet and after a few minutes, his mouth was still shut. Damn him! He always does this. It’s so uncomfortable.

  So, instead of glaring at his form, I opted to look about, glancing around at the people milling around with friends, laughing and drinking. Some chatted happily whilst eating their dinner. Everyone seemed to be having a great time except for our table. Biting my lip, I contemplated my news about Kyle. Since he was already in a gloomy state, I thought I might as well drop the bomb.

  “Since we’re on the subject of news—I just learned yesterday that Kyle’s temporarily moving here for work,” I took a long sip of my martini.

  “Kyle? Matthews? He’s here?” His reaction, disbelieving.

  Yep, my ex is definitely here in London town.

  “Yes, Kyle is here. He just flew in today.”

  “Bollocks! I can’t believe this! This night keeps getting better and better!” Blake said as he raked his hand through his hair. I didn’t get the chance to respond because the waiter laid our food out on the table.

  Blake seemed eager to ignore me. And so I let him.

  His brows furrowed as he worked on his meal. What was he thinking? He looked like he was working something out, but wouldn’t voice anything to me. It was so frustrating!

  I had a hard time not choking on my meal. His forbidding attitude didn’t put me at ease and when the waiter came to clear our dishes and offer dessert, he immediately declined, stating clearly that we were in a hurry.

  My stomach dropped.

  He hurriedly paid the bill and led us both to the elevator, barely touching my back as he ushered me in. When we got out of the building, instead of walking towards the car, he suggested that we walk for awhile. He seemed so distant and I couldn’t seem to reach him.

  When we stumbled upon a garden, I sat on the concrete bench, waiting for him to say something, anything.

  The silent treatment was killing me.

  “Blake?”

  His back faced me, looking over the clearing that led to the river. The garden was dimly lit, but it wasn’t dark enough to hide Blake’s stony face. When he finally turned around and faced me, hands in his pockets, his face was completely passive.

  What was going on with him?

  “Are you going back to him?” He asked, but it sounded like an accusation.

  “What? No! I never said I was! I mentioned it because you had to know—that even though I’m not going back to him. I can’t freely date you at the moment. He’ll go ballistic if he finds out. I guess all I’m asking is if you could understand where I’m coming from. Kyle’s been through a lot lately and he needs my help. His parents seem to think I’m the only one that can pull him out of this rut and I think I can help him, heal I mean.”

  “Heal him, Sienna? That’s a load of rubbish!” He cursed loudly as he kicked a stone next to his foot. Blake turned his back on me again and sat on his heels, both hands gripping his hair.

  I pressed my lips together, knowing I was asking a lot of him. But I had to help Kyle. He didn’t have anyone else. I owed Kyle this, at least.

  I stared at the man before me looking conflicted, and I honestly didn’t blame him. I would have been too, if the situation was reversed.

  I picked at my nails, antsy and nervous when he got up and turned around to face me again.

  “Sienna—as I badly want you—I can’t watch and fall back on the sidelines as you spend time with him. I can’t fathom the fact that you’ll be spending time with him—especially after what he put you through! But it’s your decision and I fully accept that. He’s obviously still significant to you and I understand that too. You still love him and that’s something I can’t compete with. I have to give you up—make things easier for you.

  “We’ll still be friends, never doubt that. I’ll always be here for you. But what transpired between us this past week is something we should bury and move past.”

  No! How can he say such things? I wanted to argue but his eyes were grim and his lips pressed into a thin line, showing me how serious he was.

  My eyes were brimming with tears as I watched him speak. He looked fine, but his voice was something else entirely. He sounded hollow and empty. And I knew deep down, even if I begged him to change his mind, he wouldn’t. He had already made up his mind about Kyle and me.

  The big question is how am I going to move on with life after Blake? Yes, he’s still planning to be my friend and we could mend things as they were before—but how will I forget how Blake’s kisses make me feel? How will I bury these memories I have of him? I felt tormented with emotions and I had a hard time speaking.

  “Are you sure you want to give up— whatever it was—between us, Blake?” I pleaded, my voice a mere whisper.

  “It’s not easy for me to say this, Sienna. You know that—”

  Do I really know it? I’m not so sure I do.

  I nodded, not wanting to argue his moot point. I unceremoniously got up and walked towards his parked car. There was no point in staying longer in the park, pondering ways to convince Blake to change his mind. It was a done deal in his head. He probably concocted this while he sipped wine and concentrated on his dinner.

  The ride back home was silent. He didn’t even bother to turn on any music. What a great night this turned out to be, I thought bleakly. How I wished things were different, but Blake was obviously willing to just walk away—without much ado—so I would do the same and not dwell on it. Apparently, it didn’t mean that much to him. So let bygones be bygones.

  He parked outside my building, but didn’t even bother to look at me. I stared at him for a bit, waiting for him to say goodnight, but he didn’t budge. I hesitantly leaned over him, gave him a peck on the cheek and hurriedly left the car. The tension was stifling and I needed to get out of there before I broke down.

  The apartment was dark and silent. Lucy usually stays with Toby during weekends and I welcomed the eerie silence.

  I’m not going to cry, I willed myself. It was stupid and we had barely started anything for it to be significant.

  Not bothering to turn on the lights, the moonlight barely slithered through the windows as I made my way to the kitchen and helped myself to a huge glass of wine.

  I went to my bedroom and slowly took my shoes and dress off. I took the pins out of my hair, letting it cascade on my naked back. Wearing only my thong, I went to turn on my music and played Ain’t No Sunshine by Eva Cassidy, placing it on repeat. I was in my bed, curled up, alone with my heavy heart and my disgruntled thoughts.

  I never did cry.

  That night, I dreamt of silks and candles.

  And a pool full of rose petals.

  Nineteen

  Morning couldn’t come soon enough as I stretched lazily on my bed. I reached for my phone and checked for the time; it was ten in the morning. I sighed. I would be meeting Kyle and Marie later today.

  How exhausting is this? It drained my soul until I was insipid and lifeless.

  I wish I could have danced with Chad today, but Saturdays are usually busy for him at the studio and I couldn’t cut it close to dinnertime. I needed enough time to get ready. So, I settled for some stretching and a twenty-minute Pilate’s session in my l
iving room.

  Blake never texted or called last night; it was just as well. He was serious about his decision and I had to just let it go. All I have to do now is gather up my courage and my armor for when the time comes that Blake decides to bring a date when he’s hanging out with us. I flinched inwardly at the thought of those strong hands on another woman. It never bothered me before, but since things did happen between us, it was going to be difficult to revert to the old ways. I knew how those hands felt, how great they could make me feel. But it was over and I just have to move past it.

  I did some laundry, dusted and cleaned the apartment. Before I knew it, it was five in the afternoon. I received a text from Kyle earlier stating where and what time we’d meet. I still had an hour and a half to get ready before I needed to meet them.

  I decided to run a bath and soak for fifteen minutes or so before I started getting ready. Browsing through my closet, I decided on another black dress, strapless, short fitted with an A-line skirt paired with black stiletto heels. With my long hair down, reaching a few inches above my butt. Pearl studs finished my look perfectly. Aiming for the classy look can’t be accomplished properly without pearls, or so they say.

  Hailing a black cab on a Saturday night can be very difficult, but I was fortunate enough that I didn’t have to wait that long on the pavement. The traffic was terrible, but I was lucky to arrive a few minutes past seven at The Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane. Marie loves French cuisine and I was meeting them in one of the five-star restaurants inside.

  Entering the hotel’s foyer, it was hard not to miss Kyle. He was standing idly on the corner. His face lit up when he saw me past the glass doors. He was wearing black from head to toe. Black dress shirt, jeans and dress shoes.

  He immediately sauntered towards me. “Sienna.”

  “Hello, Kyle!” I greeted him as he gave me a light hug, pulled back and inspected me, quite thoroughly to my liking. His eyes even glinted, inspecting.

  He looked like he had lost a lot of weight since I had last seen him. He had dark rings under his eyes and his skin looked paler. He still looked handsome, but his usual luster was missing. I felt a jab of guilt looking at him. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t my fault that he was having such a rough time; he did it to himself and he should have known better. But the fact that somehow I was a major factor to his spiraling downfall, made it quite difficult for me not to feel some remorse.